2003-05-30 at 8:05 p.m.
Today I discovered that both of my flatmates are moving out within two weeks.
I can't help but feel a little rejected.
Whether this has anything to do with their little feud (or as I call it, the Battle Royale From Which Only One Will Return), I don't know. Still, it's going to be mightly lonely around here come mid-June.
And then, of course, I'll have to go through the rigmarole of finding another two flatmates. And that's a search fraught with risks, uncomfortable, stilted conversations, and strange looking dudes with dreadlocks and grotesque-yet-strangely-mesmerising tattoos showing up to inspect the house at odd hours.
Then again, after the run I've had with flatmates over the past four years, I think I'm pretty well equipped to live with anyone. Or anything, for that matter.
Let's take a look at the track record, shall we?
Name- Stuart
Age- 19
Length of stay- About 5 months
Quote- 'Hey, Michelle- wanna game of pool?'
Story- Moved in during my first year of uni. We had a blast, drinking an awful lot of cheap booze, playing an awful lot of pool, and spending an awful lot of time with his awfully religious friend, Claire. I think perhaps he had a crush on me at one point, but maybe I flatter myself.
Left because- Of the next flatmate to move in...
Name- Rick
Age- 30-something
Length of stay- About 4 months
Quote- 'Ooooooh, Micheeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllle!' (said in a very high pitched and grating voice)
Story- The worst, worst flatmate I ever had. It would take someone truly special to top this guy. He was an unemployed junkie drag queen who wound up stealing the TV, VCR, and most of my CDs when he left. He also entertained an endless parade of very unsavoury friends, never did any housework and, quite frankly, creeped me out.
Left because- He'd done a runner with my whitegoods. Was later picked up for grand theft auto and spent some jail time. I saw him in a shopping centre about a year and a half later and hid in the fresh produce department until he'd gone away. I don't think I could have dealt with that shit again.
Name- Percy
Age- Late 20s
Length of stay- Over a year
Quote- 'Is this true?'
Story- Percy was also living in the house during the infamous time of Rick. He had moved over here from India, and was the most naive man I've ever met. He once asked me- "Michelle... you know how, in big cities, a man picks up a woman he doesn't know at a bar and they go and have sex? Does that happen in this city, too?"
He was also an audiologist, which was a handy complement to my study as a musician.
Left because- He went and married his Australian girlfriend who lived in Brisbane. Apparently, his family in India were none too pleased.
Name- Sebastian
Age- Late 20s
Length of stay- 4 or 5 months
Quote- No quote, just a rather sexy French accent.
Story- Sebastian was a backpacker who never really found his niche here. He'd planned to study at the uni, but was shocked when he learned he had to pay for tuition (apparently, this isn't the case in France). He wound up doing a couple of English courses at Tafe and eventually went back to his travelling.
Upon meeting Sebastian, most of my friends would ask why I hadn't become involved with him (he was good looking, and had that sexy French vibe). To be quite honest, I don't know.
Left because- Went back to travelling.
Name- Rob and Jess
Age- 20, 20
Length of stay- One year
Quote- 'Hey, girl?' 'Yes, lover?'
Story- I've grouped these two together simply because they were together at the time. Jess was a musician friend of mine from uni, and Rob was her boyfriend of several years.
Left because- Rob and Jess broke up at the end of the year. Rob took off with the 18 year old piece of bleach-blonde fluff he was chasing at the time, and Jess stayed on in the house for another year.
Name- Jess
Age- 21
Length of stay- One year
Quote- Oh, bugger!
Story- Jess stayed on after Rob moved out, but switched rooms. She finished her music/teaching degree and we spent a lot of time getting drunk and bitching about our fellow musicians.
Left because- She was offered a teaching job in the backlands of NSW. Is apparently having a blast and has taken up with one of the kindergarten teachers. Good for her.
Name- Alexi
Age- 21
Length of stay- One night
Quote- 'Stupid University!'
Story- I knew Alexi from my childhood in Bathurst. She moved up here to go to uni, but found out a day after she'd moved in that the uni wouldn't accept her application, and was forced to move back out.
Left because- The uni administration is full of jerks.
Name- Sam
Age- 22
Length of stay- One year
Quote- 'I love David Duchovny!'
Story- A postgraduate student in Genetic Counselling (no, I have no idea what that is, either). An Indian girl who was a great housemate- quiet, clean, and didn't object too much to Jess and I being loud and slovenly. Her fiancee used to visit a lot, and play rather annoyingly bland acoustic rock in the living room at odd hours.
Left because- Is in the middle of an internship at Westmead hospital in Sydney.
Name- Natalie
Age- 19
Length of stay- So far, 5 months.
Quote- What-ever.
Story- My current flatmate. Good to live with, but as one of my other friends put it, 'a bit of a ditz'.
Left because- Not sure, but it turns out she's only moving just up the road, so I expect I'll see a lot more of her, anyway.
Name- Michelle
Age- 19
Length of stay- So far, 4 months.
Quote- 'Sorry. I'm pissed'.
Story- My other current flatmate. Works as a waitress six days a week. Always has cheap wine. Always offers it to me. We get along great.
Left because- Has mentioned something about doing an Architectural Design course in Sydney, but I'm not quite sure.
So, there you have it. An endless parade of freaks, drunks, weirdos, and alcoholics.
Like attracts like, I suppose.
