2002-09-09 at 2:53 p.m.
There are many things our choir are very good at. Vocal blending, performing Australian repotoire, cut offs- and farting.
We are waaay too good at farting.
Place three or more Chamber Choir Members in enclosed space. Leave for approximately 25 minutes. Light match. (Note: If those choir members include Peter, Kyle, or Andrew, only 10 minutes are required. Do not use all three aforementioned members simultaneously- can produce enough explosive force to level France).
I had to travel for 10 hours- five there, five back- with these people.
Not that I didn't contribute occasionally myself.
In Canberra, we were billeted out with members of Wesley Church. I stayed with a very nice lady called Anne, who had a black Labrador called Verity. It took Verity a while to get used to me. Every time I entered the room, the dog would get startled and start barking at me.
Of course, animals have the innate ability to detect evil in their presence. Smart dog.
Saturday and Sunday were an endless round of rehearsals, workshops, concerts, and services at Wesley Church.
The thing I remember best from our last trip to the church in question, nearly a year ago, was that they served the communion wine in shotglasses.
Jesus Shots. Perfect with lemon and salt.
Would they be classified as Bodyshots?
Yes, I am going to hell.
Sadly, they didn't have the Jesus Shots this time. I was disappointed.
Anyway, the concerts and such all went well, we sold lots of CDs, and then I had to endure another long and gaseous bus trip home, during which we reminisced at length about 80s cartoon shows, and turned the air in the bus a murky shade of brown.
Today I've been doing a Lady MacBeth, doing endless loads of washing. This is because I realised that there were more dirty clothes visible on my floor than actual floor. My room was starting to smell like one enormous, rank T-shirt, while the rest of the house smells like the Jasmine bush currently blooming in my backyard.
Out, damn spot!
(Oh, and my photo wasn't featured in the Sunday Telegraph. I bet The Gayest Man in the Whole Wide World was disappointed.)
