2004-12-21 at 7:02 p.m.

Not dead.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry, alright? I didn't realise it had been over two months since I'd written. Look, if I'd known you had been worried sick, I would have called, or at least sent an e-card. Things have been hectic around here, okay? Well, not so much hectic... alright, not all that busy at all, really. But heck, it's not like I got any emails from anyone saying they missed me, or wanting further tales of my wacky antics. So... in a way, my absence from this diary is all your fault! That's right! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

I'd like to be able to say that the last two months were the last hiatus I'll ever take from writing this diary, but I'm just about to head off on holiday to stay with relatives who don't believe in the internet. Or air conditioning. Or movies that don't feature John Wayne in some way. So, once again, there will be a short break in transmission. Thank you for your patience.
However, as a condolence offering, when I return in 2005 I will be featuring...

Matchmaking Kittens Part 2!

Some of my longtime readers may remember a little series I did back in 2002 when I reviewed a book based entirely on the matchmaking abilities of kittens. This book was called 'Enchanting Kittens', and was one of the worst books I have ever read.
To my horror, I recently discovered that it was in fact part of a series of books. Using my shady underworld connections, I was able to track down the book shown above. Over the holidays, I shall subject my eyes to the horrors contained within, and then I shall present, for your reading pleasure, a scathing yet hilariously funny review*.
In the meantime, as a Christmas treat, you can catch up on my 'Enchanting Kittens' reviews!

Introduction * Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, everybody. See you in 2005!

*May not in fact be hilariously funny. But I'll try.

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