2002-07-05 at 4:33 p.m.

Spent this morning working. People are generally oddly fascinated by how I earn money, so I'll give you the chance to be oddly fascinated, too. Ready?

I'm a life model. People draw pictures of me. And I'm naked at the time.

Oddly fascinated now? Good. Let's continue.

Usually, when I tell people this, they react in one of three ways-

1)They say "I could never do that" in a way which means "I would never do that. What are you, an idiot?"

2)Look at me like I'm about to suddenly sprout dreadlocks, bathe in patchouli oil and tout organic vegan lifestyles

3)Assume I'm available for a bit of 'one on one' modelling.

So, why do I do it? Well, it's good work, it pays well, and is conveniently close to the Conservatorium. The only problem is the infrequency of shifts. Dammit, I need another job.

Life modelling is just another of the weird-ass jobs I've had. Let's take a look at some of the others...

Babysitter- Okay, not so weird, unless you know me and my intolerance of small children. Yet despite this, children seem to like me. The fools.

Piano teacher- I wish I could be doing this now. I have 8th grade piano and 5/6ths of a Bachelor of Music degree, and no students. My friend Jane has 2nd grade piano certificate, and about 12 students. It's just not fair, dammit.

Cabaret frontwoman- shortest job ever. Lasted about 3 weeks. Mostly because I can't dance, act or sing very well, and I look awful in spandex.

Knife seller- That's the way! Give Michelle, a person of dubious mental stability, a giant bag of knives, and unleash her on the general public! Surely, nothing will possibly go wrong in that scenario!

Anyway, tomorrow I'm off home to visit the family, who live in Bathurst, the town I grew up in. Much as I love my family, I am at a loss as to why they decided to raise me in the coldest town on earth that doesn't actually get any snow. So- freezing cold, no white powdery outdoor fun. I refer to it as the 'Anti-Snow Dome' effect.

Case in point- last summer we went on holidays to Jindabyne, one of Australia's best snowfields. In summer. Snowfields. In summer. As a result, it was just cold enough to have to wear twenty layers of clothing, but with absolutely no snow. And yet, try to get them to go there in winter- not a chance. And a beach in summer? Out of the question.

As a result, I am obliged- nay, forced- to eat lots of junk food and spend most of my days asleep, in order to build up a good amount of internal insulation. It's not laziness at all, oh no! It's a simple step to survive the ravages of the climes. And yet, people simply cannot see this.

I pity them their shortsightedness.