2002-12-16 at 3:21 p.m.
I've told my share of lies in my time. White ones. Black ones. Grey ones. Even magenta ones.
For example, telling everyone I could travel through time? Untrue. Claiming that I invented Shakespeare? Also untrue. And that whole thing about being crowned Queen of Sweden? Never happened.
But, I swear to you, the story I am about to tell you is absolutely and utterly true.
Yesterday, I sighted the infamous Lithgow Panther.
I'm back in Bathurst now, staying with my family for the holiday season. Yesterday, we went to visit my grandfather and aunt and uncle who live in the Blue Mountains. To get there, we have to drive through Lithgow, a smallish city about 45mins drive away from Bathurst.
Mum was at the wheel. Dad was snoozing. I was looking idly out the window, watching the landscape flash past. Suddenly, I saw something I didn't expect to see.
I gasped, keeping my eyes trained on it for as long as possible. Then we rounded the corner, and it was lost from view. I goggled for a moment longer. Then I let loose.
"What the fucking hell was that?"
Clare- "A horse. Wasn't it?"
Me-"That was not a fucking horse. It looked like a cat... some kind of enormous cat..."
(At this point, mum and dad start paying attention).
Dad- "A cat? Are you sure?"
Me- "Absolutely sure! It was a great big black cat! It was the size of a fucking Shetland pony! It was just walking along, licking it's lips..."
Dad- "But Clare said it was a horse."
Clare- "I didn't really look at it. I just saw it out of the corner of my eye. It was just a big black shape to me."
Me- "I'm telling you, it was a cat. A panther, or something. But that's not possible, is it?"
It was then that dad told me the story of the Lithgow Panther. Apparently, it escaped from a circus somewhere near Lithgow, and people have been sighting it ever since. They've never conclusively proven whether it exists or not.
Then mum piped up.
Mum- "Was it long?"
Me- "Was it what?!"
Mum- "Was it long? As in, length?"
Me- "It was a fucking great enormous cat, mum. I wasn't exactly taking its vital statistics."
Mum- "Oh".
Dad- "You're really sure about this, aren't you?"
Me- "Damn sure".
So, there you go. The Lithgow Panther exists, for I have seen it.
For more info on the Lithgow Panther, go here or here or even here. Or just type 'Lithgow Panther' into Google. Must I do everything for you people?
The rest of the day proved pretty uneventful, compared to that. Saw my grandfather, who made me play piano for the other residents of the nursing home, and then patrolled around the room saying "That's my granddaughter! That's my granddaughter!" He even tried picking a fight with another man who dared to say that his granddaughter was doing pretty well, too.
After that, we went to see my Aunt, Uncle, Cousins, and little Second Cousin. We gave and received presents (the best one I got was a pair of 'Reflexology Socks', and it's probably best that you don't ask how those work), ate, drank, made merry, made googly faces at the baby, etc, etc.
Just another family gathering. Ho, hum.
I got my exam results back!
I got 81% for Performance (hoorah!) and 87% for Chamber Choir, but I think I may have guilted the choir conductor into giving me that. After receiving 79% for three semesters in a row, I asked him- "What does a girl have to do to get a HD around here? Sing all four parts simultaneously?"
This means I have officially passed my course! I have a degree! Woo, I say! Woo!
(Oh, and Jordan, if you're reading this, email me and tell me how you went, you slack bastard).
Piney says-
"Have an adequately jovial Christmas and an acceptable New Year"
